sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
