I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
Randomize
