Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Randomize
