My room smells like vodka and shame
so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
Randomize
