Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
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