Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
My breath smells like gin and sadness
Randomize
