How'd it feel making her break her religion?
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
It's official drugs can't kill me
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
He? As in you personified your dick?
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
Randomize
