So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
