she was so not down for the gang bang
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
Randomize
