3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
Randomize
