If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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