Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
