wat bout pragnant strippers??
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
Randomize
