saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
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