I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Randomize
