my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Randomize
