brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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