so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Randomize
