Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
Randomize
