The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize
