think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
