Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
Randomize
