peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Randomize
