I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
Randomize
