I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
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