so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
