he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
she told me i tasted like america
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
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