wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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