My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
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