Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
Randomize
