I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
