That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
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