I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
Randomize
