he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Randomize
