i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Randomize
