oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing."
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
My boob is missing a layer of skin
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
