Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize
