Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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