I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
Randomize
