Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
Randomize
