tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Randomize