Im at strip club and am horny
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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