Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
Randomize
