If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
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