How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
