garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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