So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
Randomize