Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
soo... how was my night?
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