he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
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