Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
PS: I just woke up from my shower
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
Randomize
