Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
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