Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize
