i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
Randomize
