The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
