Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
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