what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
Randomize