Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
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