I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
Randomize
