i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
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