I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
Randomize
